10 phrases

27 May

that will get a suburban husband laid:

10. “Why do you look so hot? Isn’t it just at PTA meeting?”

9. “Hey, I was just about to buy you this Groupon for a pedicure …”

8. “… but it’s at that one place you don’t like because you think the Asian ladies are making fun of your feet in Vietnamese …”

7. ” … so I found a better one on Living Social.”

6. “Damn, I need to go to your hair stylist. You’re having like, a good hair month.”

5. “How do you keep your toenail polish so free of chips and your heels so smooth?”

4. “It’s not like I don’t LIKE porn — I just with the women looked more realistic … ”

3.  ” … all those hairless vaginas just seem kinda pervy … ”

2. ” … I’d much rather be with a woman with a little meat on her bones.”

1. “I wish my stepchildren were my real children. They are amazing.”

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