that will get a suburban husband laid:
10. “Why do you look so hot? Isn’t it just at PTA meeting?”
9. “Hey, I was just about to buy you this Groupon for a pedicure …”
8. “… but it’s at that one place you don’t like because you think the Asian ladies are making fun of your feet in Vietnamese …”
7. ” … so I found a better one on Living Social.”
6. “Damn, I need to go to your hair stylist. You’re having like, a good hair month.”
5. “How do you keep your toenail polish so free of chips and your heels so smooth?”
4. “It’s not like I don’t LIKE porn — I just with the women looked more realistic … ”
3. ” … all those hairless vaginas just seem kinda pervy … ”
2. ” … I’d much rather be with a woman with a little meat on her bones.”
1. “I wish my stepchildren were my real children. They are amazing.”
I'm Barbara Allen? 
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